Once you truly start disidentifying with the body, life starts to get pretty trippy.  It’s like most people around you have committed grand theft anatomy and don’t even realize it.  If someone’s not taking action in accordance with truth they’re essentially hijacking a divine instrument for the sake of fueling their own ego, avoiding pain, seeking control, and exploiting others in the process.  They’re likely acting that way because they’re scared and don’t know what they really are.  At the end of the day, it’s the same thing that we all are.  The big “us” that has no name.

The little me, the self; is really just kind of an idea that gets the privilege of piloting this human vessel that’s being generated all thanks to that big “self”.

You would play a video game far differently if you actually became the character instead of just pretended to be the character from a heightened perspective outside the screen.

That’s pretty much what awakening is like.  Instead of having your ego be like a set of VR goggles crazy glued to your face after having your memory wiped like in Men In Black; it becomes more like playing NHL 95’ on Super Nintendo with your homies while sitting on the couch 15 feet away from the screen.  That would require friends though, so, for now, please know this is just a metaphor.  

Which brings us to a quick story time…

At the grocery store a few months ago the teenage cashier started singing the hook to that Akon song “Mr. Lonely” as she was ringing up my items.  She looked me straight in the eye for a moment while she was doing it too.  Oof, that cut real deep.  Nothing like christening the new Jeep with some fresh salty tears on the leather while bumping Akon with the top down.  Big ol’ bag of vegetables in the passenger seat.  I’m doing fine guys, I promise :)

Anyways…

I was, and still am in certain ways guilty of the things I’m calling others out for above.  It’s a constant process of taking action more and more through the lens of truth and deprogramming myself from what I was born into.  It’s also a constant process of forgiving myself for past actions because I didn’t know any better or I was too scared to take the leap that most people wouldn’t understand yet.

After my experiences it took a long time to feel safe to speak the truth.  It’s kind of like I was a lobster that got boiled but managed to escape before I ended up on someone's plate.  Before I felt safe enough to swim out in the wild again, I had to continually dip my claws in the water to make sure it wasn’t going to melt my skin off.  It took a lot of repeated effort, but now I’ve gone full on Sebastian brah.

Circling back to anatomy; one of the biggest transformations I’ve undergone in Hawaii has been changing my relationship with nudity.  Man, have we had this shit all backwards. Talk about grand theft anatomy 🇺🇸 I’ll let women speak for themselves but I’ll speak on behalf of my dick and American male ego.  The first time I went to the beach and had some nude dude roll up on me and start a conversation like it was no big deal I had so much programming being sandblasted out of me I didn’t know what was happening.  Then I saw some dude who looked like a Hawaiian Mindfield-era Jason Dill drop-trow, sprint into the water, and do the sickest barrel roll I’ve ever seen on a 4-foot shorebreak; mullet glistening in the sunlight inside the tube.  I was like yo, that was the coolest next level Rufio shit I’ve ever seen.

In my adult life, the most exposure I had seen of the male human body was usually in porn, Jackass, or on pride parade floats.  This was something completely different and the next time I saw myself in the mirror with tan lines it seemed like the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.

Growing up my neighbor was Greek and my family and I would go to his house to watch Tyson fights on pay-per-view.  The best part was beforehand we’d get to watch the VHS tapes from his trips back to Greece.  Woah…. boobs!  Watching American History X with my parents meant cover your eyes during the shower scene.  Stomping a black man’s face on a curb?  Totally acceptable.  We all remember watching that blue scrambled HBO in hopes of catching a nipple for a few milliseconds too.

Uncle Ronald had a home in a nudist colony and the mere mention of his name was always accompanied by giggles.  I never really encountered full nudity in school locker rooms.  Except that one time at soccer camp where I saw my friend’s older brother had foreskin.  That made me feel strange and don’t even get me started on that whole thing others refer to as circumcision.  Male genital mutilation deserves an entire post of its own.

The American penis has been systematically distorted and traumatized.  In the name of religion.  In the name of profit.  In the name of medicine.  In the name of many things.  Considering how much our culture places attention on that thing referred to as the “one-eyed whistle” in my favorite GangStarr skit; I’d say it’s having a pretty large impact on driving the actions of American men.  In terms of the people directly causing the biggest problems on this planet, I’d say they’re pretty far on the top of the list. 

Once you remember what it feels like to get some sun on your dick and not have polyester rubbing around when you enter the water it’s pretty impossible to ever turn back.  Dick pics have gone from non-existent, to only in the hidden folder, to I don’t give a fuck.

It’s going to be interesting the next time I go back to visit Rockaway Beach and everyone's suited up.  One of the last times I was there it was just me and some effeminate looking fellow in a black g-string I could see from afar.  I must admit, whether it’s true or not, the prediction engine the mind is immediately assumed they identified as gay without knowing a wink about them.  

I haven’t searched for pictures so I could be mistaken; but why haven’t we seen one spiritual leader that’s famous in the west’s dick yet?  If Shiva was the first and ultimate yogi and his whole schtick was kinda, “Hey dude, I’m you!  Be like me!  That’s what this whole Nataraja dance is about bro”; why aren’t we ditching those silly robes and getting buck wild out here?  That dude was naked constantly.  Pass the ash my man.

Kony 2012 guy?  J/k.  John Lennon… maybe?  Maharishi was kinda his spiritual middle man though so I think I might have to take on this crusade myself.  No Onlyfans.  No Playgirl.  In the name of spiritual freedom and having a good laugh I’ll do this shit pro bono.  Pun intended but it would definitely have to be flaccid.  I might give it a nice stretch before letting that shutter click though.  There’s only one person on the planet I want to take the photo and if you’re reading this you know who you are.  I’m thinking Ilford Delta 100 but let’s vibe.

I know my incarnation on this planet will be complete when I’m ready to share one straight out of the ice plunge.  No snapping turtles or sadism required.  GG Allin's birth name was Jesus Christ?!  Heavy.

And guys, I swear I’m not gay.  At least, that little "me" isn't.  And in terms of its original definition I strive to be the gayest dude on Earth.

Be free 🌈